Back to school season is innately stressful. Aside from the many pain points like buying the right school supplies or the pressure around back-to-school wardrobe savvy, three primary causes are at play: Big transitions, adjusting to new schedules, and meeting expectations.
Today we’ll focus on transitions and how we can help make them as smooth as possible.
As we approach the first day of school, our children face significant transitions like moving up to the next grade level, getting to know different teachers and starting over again at new schools. This can lead to fear of the unknown, worry about preparedness, anxiety about fitting in, and nerves about learning curves like more homework, advanced testing and AI in the classroom.
Concern about these major changes is not limited to the student; it also affects parents and caregivers.
Back-to-school transitions can bring up our own past school experiences and challenges. We may feel under equipped or overwhelmed by helping our child through transitions that were difficult for us at their age. It’s tempting to obsess about whether we’ve appropriately prepared our child and how they will fare. Yet it is important for caregivers to demonstrate confidence and assure kids they can handle it, rather than contributing to the energy of fear and anxiety.
One of the top factors that create a foundation for good mental health is having the space and ability to understand and process new situations, and feel well prepared for new things.
So how can we all keep calm and carry on?
While it’s easy to assume "mental health" is all in and about the mind, that’s a myth. We have neurons all throughout our bodies, including large concentrations of neurons scientists deem "little brains" in our hearts and our guts. Not surprisingly, these spaces are where we largely experience and receive feedback on our mental health.
Furthermore, children and teens do not have a fully formed frontal cortex (the brain’s seat of reasoning) – this typically occurs in the early 20s – so trying to reason or rationalize with them at back to school time could add to frustration, stress, and feelings of failure for both caregiver and child.
In light of those two things, Kula for Karma believes the key to good mental health for back to school is that we must involve our bodies (not just our brains) in our mental health endeavors.
Here’s a body-centric mindfulness-based mental health exercise to support both student and caregiver in the full range of back to school transitions, and to bolster the first of three primary needs for good mental health: space and ability to process and prepare for new life experiences.
Share this video with your kid and follow these steps, either on your own or together with your student / caregiver:
Instead of assuming our difficult feelings and worries are problems or weaknesses, accept and welcome them as normal – or even good Samaritans or “mental health fairies” trying to help us. Anticipate personal roadblocks and set your child (and yourself!) up for success by scanning the body to find where feelings and sensations are located, and speak to those areas of the body to soothe anxiety and feel better prepared.
Short exercise: "Speak-to-my-body scan"
Lie comfortably on your back.
Give yourself permission to feel your feelings, and allow them to honestly speak up
LISTEN to your body – be as patient as possible (taking deep breaths can help).
Scan the body from head to toe and locate the areas where those feelings that emerge reside (tension in the neck, heaviness in the chest, nausea in the stomach).
Place a hand or bring awareness to each spot one by one and invite it to tell you why it’s there and what it wants to communicate.
Respond to what it reveals (i.e., I’m nervous about starting middle school / harder homework / keeping my friend group) with reassuring feedback: “I hear you. I believe you. I trust you. I understand. I will protect you. We will face this/heal this together.”
You don’t have to come up with an answer or solution. Just by listening to your body and comforting it, you allow your nervous system to relax and feel more supported by the person who matters most – YOU. This fosters strong stillness and quiet confidence in your gut and heart, so that you can be prepared for challenges with more ease and creativity.
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